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heartbr0kensoul
hahaha. michelle is soooo funny when she's drunk!
last night was fun. tab and i drove around bored ended up at the mall because we're losers haha. i got new moon and eclipse but no TWILIGHT grr because they didnt have it in hard cover. I'll just go to the normal borders and buy it. Then tab and i drove around more took pictures at a cemetery by the river. Then went to see handcock with tab, stay, ted, and andrew? why we were hanging out with andrew i can not tell you lol. he's creepy haha. he left not even halfway through the movie anyway because of his dad or something. the movie was okay it kind of had a lame ending but w/e. i was really pissed because they showed tv commercials and like 2 new movie commercials whats with that? lol. Stacy kept getting drunk phone calls from shell so we went to go see her. She was hilarious. She called stacy like 5 times while we were driving to her. She thought stacy was driving in her car and so she ran up to a random car before we got there haha. So we get there and shes hugging all of us and laughing at everything. And running down the street screaming at mike who's also drunk as he always is at a party ahha. Then there were a couple people getting sick. NOT FUN. lol Anyway at 2 something we decided we need to get home...tab was in no condition to drive so stacy drove to her house and then from stacys house i drove tabs car so she wouldnt crash. Stacy followed so she could drive me home. that concludes my night haha.
 
 
Current Mood: content
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
27 June 2008 @ 12:36 am
wow.  
text her dammit!
Svetlana is going to help you. =]
i want this to be good.
YOU DESERVE THIS.
i love you so much.
don't think about her.
focus on you and the situation.
i will try my best to read his mind and put my thoughts into his head.
IT WILL WORK.
YOU ARE AMAZING.
don't think anything less of yourself.
<3
 
 
Current Mood: irritated
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
it's laura's birthday. i wish i could go back in time to her other birthdays where we had water balloon fights and had pineapple soda. i'd give anything for those days. just to give her one more hug and tell her how much i love her and how much she means to me. this is going to be a sad, but happy day. i know she's up there watching over all of us. but i miss her advice and how i could tell her above anyone else everything and not feel stupid or ashamed. i miss my best friend. i just want to go back to second grade where we had no worries and she and i were deciding what to wear for twins day. =[ i love you laura. i think about you every single day. you will forever be the one person i could trust above all and that was there for me no matter what.

at least tomorrow ill be with wayne and we can talk and think about her together.


Your skin
Oh yeah, your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful.
 
 
Current Mood: gloomy
Current Music: coldplay - the scientist
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
england i need you.
 
 
Current Mood: indescribable
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
20 March 2008 @ 11:28 pm
These past few days have been great. i had nik over for a few days we finished a 1000 piece puzzle in 2 days took us like 12 hours but that's okay. We also got to go shopping and she came to work with me, which made work a lot more fun. Thank god i had her here it made me forget about how other's ditched me. On that note, i don't know how clear i have to be with certain people that i would like to do something with them and then they fucking blow me off. I genuinly feel like they just don't give a damn. It makes me want to move as far away from them as possible. I feel like i have one person who cares about me truely and that's nik. Atleast she's there for me when i need her and listens to me when i need to talk. I'm just done with the others i can't try anymore. I can't wait for summer, a road trip will happen. And hopefully nik and i will get tickets for daniels show. I just wish i had enough money to fly to england and get away from everyone especially those who claim to be there for me and never are. I'm so grateful to have nik in my life. She is a true friend that i never want to lose.
 
 
Current Mood: blah
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
12 March 2008 @ 02:13 am
why do people have to keep dying.
another funeral i have to attend. i don't know if i can handle this it brings up too many painful memories. =/
 
 
Current Mood: melancholy
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
01 March 2008 @ 10:04 pm
i'm lost and lonely.
i miss being included.
eh whatever.





i think i'll go do something creative maybe that will make me happier. i've already baked a cake that i won't eat and made homemade icing, but oh well.
 
 
Current Mood: blah
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
12 February 2008 @ 10:10 pm
can things go back to normal like when i felt like they cared. because everything feels completely wrong. I feel like they avoid me and don't want to be around me and only want to hang out when it's convenient. and if we have plans and they for some reason decide to do something else they don't even let me know. i just want things to be how they were before when i felt like i had people who were there for me. when i used to be called when they were upset and needed someone and i'd be there in a heartbeat and do anything to make them feel better. i want things to be how they were in high school, maybe i'm asking too much i don't know. i'm at the point where i want to give up, but then i feel like no i have to hang on. ugh.
 
 
Current Mood: anxious
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
11 February 2008 @ 01:45 am
right now i can only depend on one person, and she knows who she is.
i can go to her for anything.
thanks babygirl!
i love you =] ♥




k-where the hell is my rupert that's what i want to know lol.
he needs to come swoop me off my feet.

n-close.
he's very close.

k-well i've waited long enough he needs to make an appearence.

n-he will.
<3

haha. we're a bunch of goofs.

equus, nicole and i will see you no matter what!
it is a mission to see daniel naked.
(just so your dreams can come true nik)
he is your soulmate =]
 
 
Current Music: do the hippogriff =]
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
12 January 2008 @ 12:31 am
i'm fed up with people who are supposed to be my friends. i let them walk all over me and don't say a damn thing, well i'm not letting them do it anymore. I'm cutting myself off from them and just taking a break. I can't let them keep doing what they're doing and act like it doesn't hurt and they probably don't even realize that i feel this way. Tonight definitely proved what i was feeling.
I need to be more independent and not rely on them to stick to their plans because i always end up being ditched. I haven't felt this way since i was 12 it's ridiculous. And in order to to make them see that they're being this way i need to stay away from them. And maybe they won't even mind, but atleast i won't keep getting let down.
 
 
Current Mood: aggravated
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
06 December 2007 @ 11:57 pm
it's time to start getting my life in order.

I'm not going to look back.
I'm done denying the truth to anyone
Cause I'm alive.


i miss her.
i went through and read her old entries..
and cried my eyes out.
i miss her so much it hurts
and i've been holding in this pain for so long
and i let it out little by little but it still doesnt help. i don't think i will ever get over this. i wish nik would have been online she's the only one i can talk to about this. laura i love you so much and i wish you could have lived your life longer and gotten married and had children and been happy and not in pain. i'm sorry you had to be taken from us. i love you so much always and forever and i regret so much that i didn't get to see you more when you were right down the street from me. i'll never forgive myself for that. just know you changed my life (in a good way) and made me a better person and i'll never forget that. ♥
 
 
Current Mood: pensive
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
08 October 2007 @ 11:28 pm
shut the fuck up you're pathetic.
 
 
Current Mood: annoyed
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
02 October 2007 @ 11:15 pm
people who don't know shit about anything need to shut their fucking mouths. Don't talk about shit you don't know about and don't give your fucking opinion of people that you don't even know because you are 100% wrong about them. DON'T FUCKING JUDGE SOMEONE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW AND CRITICIZE THEM ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE NO LONGER HERE TO DEFEND THEMSELVES. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT WENT ON IN THEIR LIVES OR WHAT WAS PAINING THEM SO MUCH THAT THEY JUST COULDN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING THROUGH THEIR HEADS TO MAKE THEM SO DEPRESSED. IT'S DONE SO RESPECT THE DEAD. SO ONCE AGAIN SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS. and I will fuck your day up.
 
 
Current Mood: enraged
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
07 August 2007 @ 12:33 pm
like its been one year.
i still miss you just as much if not more.
i love you. always and forever.
and i know you're in a better place and you're happy.
and that's all that matters.
and i know you're watching over me and everyone else you care about and i thank you for that.
i'll never forget you.



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Current Mood: stressed
Current Music: breaking free
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
05 August 2007 @ 11:09 pm
i want.. a lot of things =[
im not content. ah well.
 
 
Current Mood: discontent
Current Music: hsm1
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
02 August 2007 @ 05:25 pm
i love hairspray

and i love Zac Efron even more =]

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yep im a geek. =P

i want to see it again and then maybe once more haha!
 
 
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: high school musical
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
11 July 2007 @ 06:31 pm
harry potter was excellent, i loved it even if they didnt explain a lot of things. I definitely want to go see it again. i had a great time with nik and hopefully we'll go to the book thing at borders =].
ahh i love rupert and daniel!
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=]
 
 
Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Music: incubus-here in my room
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
07 July 2007 @ 11:43 pm
tonight was fun, went to see lexington down in absecon
there were other bands, but i only wanted to see lex down. so my brother and i were on our way to the show which keith told us the wrong place cause sometimes he's just dumb like that hah. but anyway pulled into another place and had to text michelle to get jess's # cause i forgot it and then called her to get directions and we finally made it there like 10 minutes after 6. tommy and i sat around for like an hour waiting and keith wasn't there and we were like what the fuck. we started planning what we were going to do to him cause he was mad late haha, so he finally got there and tommy jumped on his car. pretty funny. gave him tommy's right cell #. then we helped him carry his shit inside and got in the show for nadaaa cause we're good like that and we were with keith. glad that i didnt have to pay so that i could just see him. so lex down was up first thankfully, so we watched them and the people who were there sucked ass all they did was stand there no clapping or dancing, ill admit i didnt dance but i definitely clapped and sang along. a few others clapped atleast and jess sang along, i think we were the only ones who knew the words cause we're original lex down fans we're the lexington down posse from back in the day haha..those were some good times. im glad they played my song last he always plays that one for me =] so after lex downs set we got some demos which i have a whole bunch of but cant hurt to have more. it was extremely funny to see little teeny boppers all over keith asking to take myspace pictures with them and telling him he was sexy when they're like 13 and hes 24 it was great. his expression when they told him he was sexy was hilarious. so once his little teeny bopper fans went away from him we said bye and left so tommy could go to cj's b-day party. glad i went cause i got to see keith and lex down but hopefully the next show with them will have a little bit more of a lively crowd. i can not wait for their cd to come out there better be 2 copies of that shit in my mailbox the day it comes out or im kicking down keith's door! hah.

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and in other news i have to take my placement test at accc on tuesday not looking forward to that a little nervous..i should study a little bit for it and i will, but i just hate taking tests. the only thing ill be looking forward to and that will keep me thinking positively will be the harry potter movie that i will be seeing with nicole later on that day. 11:59 pm first viewing of the new movie. ill see my husband rupert and nik will see her's daniel =] i cant wait.
i think that's pretty much it. just a lot of rambling.
 
 
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: lexington down - spread so thin
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
24 February 2007 @ 07:06 pm
havent updated in a while cause i dont feel the need to post my life on here for all to read when i dont talk to more than half of you. the only people that need to know about my life do. and all i wanted to say in this entry is..
everyone needs to shut the fuck up. =]
 
 
Current Mood: content
Current Music: beck
 
 
heartbr0kensoul
29 October 2006 @ 05:40 pm
i havent updated in a while.. a lot of things have happened.
last tuesday stacy, michelle, jimmy, anthony, kyle, and myself went to the tilly and the wall concert. it was really fun.
on the way there on the patco i had a nasty mexican blow me a kiss like i dont get enough of them in hammonton haha.
we finally got to philly and we were cold so we stopped at this chinese/cafe and got some coffee. then we started walking again. we got to the place stood out in the line for a while. jimmy and kyle came then we got inside. michelle and i couldnt find the girls bathroom but finally we did. then the concert started and it was really good. we danced around. when it was over i got derek to sign my ticket and jamie to sign stacys. then we took pictures of stacy and jamie together. she was really happy =] then i took a picture of stacy and kianna. she liked my purse was pretty cool. then we started our way back to the station i froze my nuts off hah. stacy, michelle, and i decided we weren't going to school the next day and we didnt.

then wed i went over stacys and all 3 of us played video games
then we went to the hammonton parade we got excited cause we heard the kkk was going to be there and we wanted to see them haha, we went looking around for them but didnt see them. then we found steven and hung out with him then stacy drove us home.
thats about the only exciting thing thats happend hah.
the rest of the week drug on.

this weekend was pretty fun hung out with kelly the whole time.

AND NOW THERE ARE..

only two days till halloween yay.
stacy, michelle, and i have had our costumes planned since around december of last year.
we're being hookers. devon was suppose to be our P I M P, but hes going to be something else instead lol.
so instead we plan on walking bugga around cause we're dressing him up as a pimp.
halloween is awesome. im excited!!!
dressing up for school should be fun too.
too bad michelle graduated last year.
we're going to be the best hookers haha.
cant wait to see what everyone else is going to be.
yeah thats pretty much it.
 
 
Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Music: ashes- pepper